is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
