On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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