We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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