I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
