Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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