no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
