I just made out with a guy for $7.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
