I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Randomize
