Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
