i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize