There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
