Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
