wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
