I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
