I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
