i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
