she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
