Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i think my cat just said my name.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
