He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
