I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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