I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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