I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
