i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
