evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
