I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
