hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
