Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize