For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Damn victory sex feels great
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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