hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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