never play flip cup with pint glasses
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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