When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
