new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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