If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
