i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
