Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
