I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
