i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize