Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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