Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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