There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
