I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
