i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
