u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
