Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize