Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
