He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
