before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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