gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
