Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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