Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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