Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
