I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
