His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
